How often to you make space for yourself to breathe?
I asked myself this question a couple of weeks ago as I sat in the cosy lounge of the Sacrista Prebend House in Southwell. Slippers were on, journal and pen in hand, and a hot drink on the coffee table in front of me.
What was I doing?
I was at a retreat.
A whole day away to sit, reflect, journal, pray, dream, and perhaps go for a walk. Nothing else.
Reading this you might be thinking a retreat sounds blissful, or perhaps you can’t think of anything worse! For me, it was wonderful. But it also occurred to me that it felt a little indulgent. Why did I need a whole Saturday away in January?
Well, the main purpose became clearer as the day went on: breathing space. Time to slow down and stop at the start of a new year. To give my thoughts a chance to meander and to ask myself what I really wanted to do this year. I’d love to share my experience with you and why I found it so beneficial.
What does a retreat look like?
I set off for Southwell early on a Saturday morning, leaving most of my family still in bed. It was about a 40-minute drive through beautiful countryside and I felt myself begin to relax and breathe more deeply as I drove. A reminder of how soothing I find being in nature, and physically stepping (or driving) away from the daily routines of life.
As soon as I arrived, I felt a deep sense of being cared for. Everything about the day was designed to create a nourishing, restful environment. The day was beautifully organised by Steph from Healed Healthy Whole and Vanessa from Shine Wellbeing Support.
Guided meditations and visual prompts helped me get in the right space to listen to myself and to God. A head massage soothed the tight muscles in my forehead. A short coaching conversation helped to deepen and grow what I’d experienced and prompted ideas for how to take it forward. I prayed, sat in the quiet and did A LOT of journaling.
There were no demands on my time, apart from when I ate the delicious and nourishing food (provided by Jo from Live Life Well) or when to go for a walk around Southwell Minster with a few friends.
The whole day created space for me to breathe.
Why breathing space is vital for entrepreneurs and leaders
I like the month of January for its newness, sense of expectation and energy to dream and make plans.
But I also feel a sense of overwhelm. A year can feel like a long time, but also not long enough. I tend to overreach and plan more than I can manage, then suddenly it’s Easter and I’ve already ‘lost’ a quarter of the year.
I wonder if this sounds familiar to you?
I’ve found a helpful antidote to this overwhelm: creating space.
Alongside the goal setting and planning, it’s important to give yourself space. To slow down and give your thoughts and feelings time to explore and expand.
You could ask yourself this question:
How do I really want to feel this year and what do I really want to do?
Journaling is a wonderful tool to help discover the answers to this question and it’s often when we stop, in the quiet, still moments the answers emerge. Vague ideas have the space to gain form and clarity. And true feelings and desires can come to the fore.
Going away on a retreat is one way to create this breathing space to stop and explore.
Key things I learned from going away on a retreat
Getting away physically helps my mind and body relax. There is something significant about putting some distance between us and our daily lives. I love being in my home, so I need to be intentional about this to make it happen!
The value of being nurtured and cared for. It was a powerful reminder to be more intentional about caring for myself without guilt and allowing others to care for me too. This is an investment in my own value.
By giving my ideas and thoughts the time and attention they deserve, this gives them value. It enables me to go deeper and wider with my ideas because I’m in a creative state, rather than a stressed state.
The importance of BEING as well as doing. I am naturally geared towards productivity, and I always have at least one To Do List on the go! But letting go of the need to be productive meant I could give myself permission to explore and listen.
So, I didn’t come home with a clear plan for the year, or even a concrete goal. But I did come away with a clearer sense of who I want to BE and what I want to DO this year.
How am I taking this forward for me personally and my business? I’ve re-prioritised things that will support who I want to BE, knowing this will enable me to show up and serve my clients and audience better.
And in terms of what I want to DO, having this space to breathe has helped me to consider what’s realistic. What do I want to give my time, energy, and attention to this year and what do I need move into next year or beyond?
How about you?
Going on a retreat might be beneficial for you, or you might want to create space in a different way, depending on your personality and how you process and recharge.
However you choose to find your breathing space, the important thing is that you do it. It will help you make more sense of what you’re thinking, you’ll notice important details and your thoughts (and therefore what you do) will become deeper and more meaningful.
And if it feels indulgent, or provokes feelings of guilt, here’s the truth: breathing space is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. We must carve out this space to enable our best thoughts and ideas to come to life.
So here’s my encouragement to you today - give your thoughts and feelings the space and attention they deserve.
You, your work, and your people will benefit hugely if you do.