In my content this month, I’m exploring what holds us back from sharing our stories. I’ve come across many obstacles for myself and others, including fear of judgement, overthinking, believing you have nothing valuable to say, or not knowing where to begin. I’m sure you can think of others.
One of my obstacles has come up this week, so I thought I’d share it with you in case it’s true for you, too. It’s called: The Fear of Getting it Wrong.
Even as you’re reading this, perhaps your insides are squirming because you feel this fear too. The Fear of Getting it Wrong shows up for me in many different contexts, not just with sharing my story. Sometimes it can be paralysing. I’m so afraid of making a mistake and getting it wrong, that I decide it’s safer not to do anything at all. Perhaps you’ve felt like this, too?
And inaction, as we know, is not conducive to getting anything done. Even worse, it’s not conducive to achieving our dreams in life. Inaction means we don’t share our experiences with others, which robs them and us from the great benefits of doing that - connection, visibility, inspiration, strength and trust, to name a few.
So, how can we move past the Fear of Getting it Wrong so it doesn’t stop us from sharing our stories in the way we want to? And what’s all this got to do with bridges?!
The bridge of fear
I recently watched a YouTube video created by my coach and mentor, Gabriela Blandy. She talked about fear as bridges to cross and something she said struck me. ‘If there are bridges of fear I haven’t been able to cross, I’m not going to be able to help my clients cross those bridges.’ I started to think: what’s the bridge of fear I need to cross myself, so I can guide others over it too? (If you’d like to watch Gabriela’s video, here’s the link.)
Something happened this week which guided me to the answer. I started work on a fab new project for two clients, one of which is a dear friend of mine. The first part of the project involved reviewing and refining the core brand story and messaging for their business. I reviewed their existing wording and sent off my suggested tweaks and revisions.
A few hours later, I realised I’d made a mistake. I’d only been working from one document they’d sent me and I hadn’t properly read the other one, which was more up to date, and the language was a bit different. And worse, I’d helped them with the new language last year. If there was ever a time for a face plant emoji, this was it.
I was mortified. I felt frustrated and ashamed of myself and gutted that I’d wasted their time. And something else reared its ugly head - The Fear of Getting it Wrong.
It reminded me of when I was training to be a solicitor and how I felt when I made mistakes at work. Unfortunately I wasn’t always shown grace. I’ve moved on a lot since then and I am much more confident in my capabilities. But this incident was a harsh reminder of how I felt back then. My negative internal narrative kicked in: I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t do this. Oh my goodness, my memory is terrible. I’ve let myself and my clients down.
But thankfully, there were a few key differences between what happened this week and how I felt at work all those years ago. These things have helped me cross this particular bridge of fear this week.
Crossing the bridge of The Fear of Getting it Wrong
The first big difference was that my client (and friend) responded with love. It was just a miscommunication and we moved past it. She made it clear she still had faith in my abilities. I like to think I would have reacted in the same way. She showed me grace, which is what I needed to regroup.
The second thing was my husband sharing with me a story of a mistake he made at work recently and reminding me that we all get it wrong sometimes and this is okay. In fact, it’s normal and human. My mistakes are part of who I am and my friends and family don’t love me despite them - they love me including them.
The third thing was a reminder (again from my wise husband) that I needed to be kind to myself. I think this phrase is said a lot and it can lose its meaning. For me, it means speaking to myself like I would speak kindly to someone else. It means taking a break and doing things that will nourish me and help me reset. And (a few pages of journalling later) I set kind standards for myself. Yes, of course, I want to do an excellent job for my clients, but I am also human. And humans make mistakes. A lot of them.
Finally, I remembered an important truth: without mistakes, we can’t grow. Often, the bigger the mistake, the bigger the learning. I’m trying to lean into my mistake and reflect on how I can learn from it. The important thing is not to focus on the mistake. It’s to focus on how I respond to it.
The upshot of this experience was I redid my review working from the correct sources and not only were my clients super pleased with what I’d done, I was too. If I had let my fear paralyse me, I wouldn’t have had this result. What’s on the other side of the bridge of fear always makes crossing it worthwhile.
Will you cross your bridge of fear?
Perhaps your bridge is The Fear of Getting it Wrong. Perhaps it’s something else. But I hope my experience this week will help you cross your bridge so you can help your clients do the same.
And how does this apply to sharing your story?
If you’re holding back from sharing your experiences with your audience, here are a few things to consider:
For the most part, your audience will receive your story with gratitude. You can also seek out someone who you know will show you love and grace.
Mistakes are part of who we are as humans. Your audience want to know you as a human, not a robot.
Speak kindly to yourself and set kind standards.
Mistakes lead to growth.
Writing this has been hugely beneficial for me as I reflect on this week and move forward. Perhaps I’ll even learn to love my mistakes!
Let me know in the comments if this resonates with you. What is your bridge of fear and what one step will you take today to cross it?
With love,
Claire x