Has fear ever stopped you from doing something you want to do? In the past I’ve found fear to be at best, unhelpful and inconvenient and at worst, paralysing. But I made a decision a few years ago never to let fear dictate my decisions. A couple of weeks ago, I had a moment that reminded me of why this is so important for me and why I need to keep pressing into it.
My husband and I spent a long weekend with friends in Paris and as part of our trip, we booked a visit to the Eiffel Tower. We decided to go up to the second level in the lift, which seemed plenty high enough for a great view across the city.
I wouldn’t say I’m afraid of heights, but there was something very disconcerting about being lifted 115 metres into the air inside a metal box with transparent walls. When we emerged on the second level, I felt a little wobbly and was silently thankful none of us wanted to go to the next level! God bless the guy putting on a brave face for his 7 year old daughter who had requested they carry on to the viewing platform a further 161 metres up…
My wobble passed and we enjoyed the spectacular views across Paris. Hubby and I then decided we would take the stairs down to have a look at the first level before meeting our friends at the bottom. After a few steps down, I realised this wasn’t going to be an easy journey. The height, combined with the angle of the steps and the fact you can see through the gaps to the ground below brought my wobbly feeling back with a vengeance. As I gripped onto the handrails, carefully taking one step at a time, I faced the real possibility that I could have a melt down half way up (or down) the Eiffel Tower. I started taking some deep, slow breaths.
‘Are you okay? Do you want to go back?’ my husband asked.
‘I’m fine,’ I said through clenched teeth. Then I heard myself say: ‘I never want to not do something because I’m afraid.’
I found that statement very helpful at that moment. I knew logically I was safe and I wanted to see the first floor of the Eiffel Tower with my husband. I also hoped if I took the steps slowly and focused on my feet I would be okay. And more importantly, my decision to continue was motivated by something other than fear. Determination, joy, and a sense of adventure were stronger than the fear.
When it comes to my writing and my business, I find it helpful to remind myself of this statement: I never want to not to something because I’m afraid. Instead, I can let other things motivate me and guide me - love and passion for what I do, perseverance, a desire to learn and the knowledge that sharing my experiences will impact others in a positive way.
So, if you’re not doing something you want to do, or you’re facing a decision, I’d encourage you to ask yourself this question: ‘What is motivating me here?’ If the answer is fear, perhaps this is an invitation to consider what else could guide you.
Here are a few possibilities: joy, freedom, serving your audience, growing your business, having an impact, or expanding your skills and experience. All these things are stronger than fear. And there are many others.
What motivates you instead of fear? Let me know in the comments.
Claire x